December 2011

A New Year

by Cheryl on December 31, 2011

in Holiday

The New Year has arrived and I’m happy I was here to ring it in. I love new things like new shoes, new clothes, the beginning of a new week, and last but not least the beginning of a new year. I intend to buy more clothes and shoes and enjoy Mondays. But I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions because my inspiration to accomplish something is never sparked by the anticipation of January 1. This year will be no exception.

Happy New Year!

© 2011 – 2012, CherylNation. All rights reserved.

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I get the feeling that I’m helping my children in their efforts to wear me down. Not in the general sense like exhaustion but more like persuasion.  Here it is, they want a dog and so do I, but I’m afraid of the responsibility that will come waltzing through the door ahead of the pooch. Still, I entertain the idea of having the dog a little bit more than they do.

My children and I have conversations about the type of dog we would like to have. Let’s face it, the idea of having a thing and the act of having a thing are drastically different. For me it changes like the direction of the wind and for them it changes because they are willing to compromise. The criteria that remain constant for me are the dogs’ size with minimal shedding. It also must be small and remain small as an adult dog.

I have some history with pets. I remember having dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters, fish, a duck, and my sister had some birds. No, I didn’t have them all at the same time. I do remember being very excited about the newness of having a pet and the fun of playing with it for hours. I also remember that I never had any of the animals for very long. The coincidence is I don’t really remember what happened to most of the pets except for the dogs that would always end up belonging to someone else in the family or dead from being hit by a car. Tragic.

At some point in my life I became a borderline germaphobe and it still has its grip on me today, but that is only part of my hang up. The real issue is I want something that is impossible to have. I want a housebroken puppy. I said that out loud and my children laughed at me. I am so afraid of the responsibility of having a dog that I have found a criterion that can’t be met.

I have been moving the goal post for years and the reason I give my children is I have to be certain I’m ready and here is why; I bought a puppy for my boys about 11 years ago. I named her Ginger. In hindsight I did not know what I was getting into. Or I could say, I gave up too easily. I bought this puppy when she was six weeks old and it was more work than taking care of a baby. That’s probably an exaggeration yet it was very real. But I struggled through it.

Ginger was the cutest Dachshund. I was determined to make this work. I took her to training so she could learn to be calm and obedient. I made sure she was housebroken, spayed, had all of her shots, and conformed to all of the things that would make our lives with her as pleasant as could be. Sometimes all the planning in the world can be useless.

Ginger got fleas at one point and the house had to be fumigated. Probably the worst incident was when she stopped eating. Unbeknownst to us, she had swallowed a piece of one of her toys and after a couple of weeks back and forth between vets and specialists and $1,300 later the tiny foot of her bumblebee toy was discovered and surgery was performed to remove the object.

I came to the realization that the responsibility of taking care of Ginger and keeping her happy was weighing on me. So, I started asking around to see if there was anyone I felt was responsible enough and wanted to take her. I found someone willing to take her who had two other dogs and a cat. We moved away shortly after. We got the chance to visit her about four or five years later and she was still happy. She was well taken care of and running around with her friends. It was a happy ending.

I promised myself that I would not get another dog unless I was willing to fulfill the duties. I’m not going to fool myself into thinking that my children are going to be able to take on the responsibility of a dog without my assistance. I will expect them to help out, but if my past is to be used as a sounding board I have to be realistic. I want to get a shelter dog and sometimes they have had a tough life, I don’t want to make it any tougher.

A friend told me that I should wait until February—March timeframe. That’s when a lot of people decide they don’t want or can’t take care of their Christmas pets and off to the shelters they go.

As soon as I stop straddling the fence there will be no more straddling the fence. I will take the leap. If it feels right we may have a new family member. It is what my children want and it will be what I know I am ready for. Exactly when I’m ready.

© 2011 – 2012, CherylNation. All rights reserved.

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Accessibility

by Cheryl on December 31, 2011

in Health, Opinions, Personal

Winter break is ending. Everyone goes back to their daily routines next week. Where did the time go? Down time is good for sleeping late and reflecting. I did both. I drifted back to October of 1998. I left my full-time job that year. My frame of mind about the change was optimistic, but I carried leeriness of the unknown as well. All feelings of embarking on a new freedom.

Pleasant work environments feel like a second home after working there for a long time. The people are your work family and some of them you don’t mind seeing everyday. So when I left, the first few weeks felt like a vacation that kept getting longer and longer. Of course, I had plenty to keep me busy during the day it was just different responsibilities. I missed being at work and not because I loved the work. It wasn’t the work it was the downtime with co-workers. It sounds shallow, but great conversations took place during breakfast runs and lunch outings. Topics were never mind-numbing or forced. Practical discussions abound.

I kept in touch with people that I was friends with at work and I often thought about the associates, but that time had passed. Interacting with people became more of an effort, but I adjusted and made my way.

I had bouts where I felt a loss of identity. Replacing my maiden name more than 20 years ago was one of those times. I remember believing the person that everyone knew me as no longer existed. My sense of self wandered. I had the same experience months after leaving my job. Circumstances changed and required me to fine-tune my attitude. Although, I don’t remember how long it took I did recover. A name change or leaving a job did not end my identity. It did help me to open some doors to different facets of my personality and realize I had qualities that I only believed existed in others. Decisiveness and self-rule live at the top of the list. I stopped stumbling through life looking to others to make decisions for me and now I’m here.

Destination solitude. Say it with me, s-o-l-i-t-u-d-e. I love it. Solitude is a pleasing place for me. I am never alone in solitude. Being home during the day puts solitude and accessibility on a collision course and a line has to be drawn which often isn’t. The fine art of merging the two leads to bliss. Sometimes I believe people reach out to me because they think I’m lonely. Don’t worry I’m not. I don’t suffer from loneliness, likely because I’m at peace with being in a position where I don’t have to talk to people and I can think freely. Aloneness during the day does not equate to being lonely. Aloneness during the day is space for mental fitness. Each day it ends momentarily until the next. Ah, anticipation.

When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death – ourselves.  ~Eda LeShan

© 2011 – 2012, CherylNation. All rights reserved.

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Merry Christmas

by Cheryl on December 25, 2011

in Holiday

Have a joyous day!

 

 

 

 

© 2011 – 2012, CherylNation. All rights reserved.

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A New Love for Christmastime

by Cheryl on December 16, 2011

in Fun, Holiday

It has taken me years to get to a state of contentment during the holiday season. I used to measure myself against people who were whipped up in a frenzy trying to live up to the Christmastime meme of shopping till they drop and buying a gift for everyone they’ve ever met. I tried the excessive decorating, the gift giving, the Christmas cards, the neighborhood parties, many more things I’m sure will come to mind later. None of those things put me in the holiday spirit. It stressed me out and caused me to dread this time of year.

Something that never helps are the Lexus commercials with the damn big red bows that play on a loop. I want them banned from the airwaves. We have Black Friday, Cyber Monday and earlier this week I heard a reference to Green Monday. Days have been named to keep people shopping. Talk about going overboard. I want to disengage from craziness?

This year I decided to embrace my nontraditional side. I’m letting go of all the hoopla and focusing on doing what feels comfortable. My reluctance to act on something means I know it won’t be worthwhile for me, but sometimes I don’t listen. I’m invited to this holiday luncheon every year and the guests are supposed to bring a gift under $15 for an exchange. I went years ago and it wasn’t my cup of tea. Since then, every year someone asks me if I’m going and I’ll say maybe. From the moment I receive the invitation I know I don’t want to go to the luncheon and sit around with people that I will likely have no contact with again for another 12 months. Yet, in past years I would wait until the last minute to RSVP. Constantly thinking I might have a good time if I just go again. This year I listened to my gut feeling and I clicked the ‘no’ button on the evite quite fast because I didn’t need to mull over what I already knew the answer to.

Last year I bought Christmas cards and I didn’t get around to mailing them. I have those same cards this year and I just might buy the stamps to mail some of them this time around. The responsibilities for receiving specific gifts are on the people that want the gifts. Tell me what you want. Anyone that knows me knows that I hate surprises, that includes being surprised and trying to surprise someone. As well as I know you I still prefer you make your own lists. I will enjoy spending time with my family doing whatever makes us happy. Buying into someone else’s idea of what I should be doing is not happening this year. And I will not be calling a long list of people to say Merry Christmas. Get ready because a text message will probably be coming your way.

I might sound Grinch-y to some people, but is that my problem? No, it is not. If I don’t create unnecessary expectations about Christmastime I can let the holiday happen and enjoy it. The rules are there are no rules. I will walk around in whatever clothes I feel like wearing and eat whatever food I feel like eating and lounge around wherever I feel like lounging. It’s going to be a good one!

The one constant this year is tuning in to 24 hours of A Christmas Story on TBS starting at 8:00 PM Christmas Eve to watch Ralphie and hear, “You’ll shoot your eye out.” God I love that movie.

© 2011 – 2012, CherylNation. All rights reserved.

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What ever happened to the simple act of decency and respect? It feels like the attack on women on all levels is picking up speed. I have to say I’m not at all surprised by this lack of judgment and respect.

Vermont Fraternity Suspended For Passing Out ‘Who Would You Rape?’ Survey | The University of Vermont chapter of fraternity Sigma Phi Epsilon is being suspended for passing out a survey to its members that asked questions including, “If I could rape someone, who would it be?” The university may take further disciplinary action, and women on campus are circulating a petition to have the chapter shutdown entirely that has already received over 1,000 signatures. The incident is the latest in a long series of rape-promoting stunts by fraternity members at American universities. Sigma Phi Epsilon’s UVM chapter was shut down from 1993-1997 for hazing, which included making pledges tell racist jokes and describe what they’d do with a stripper whose company they enjoyed the night before.”

[via ThinkProgress]

© 2011 – 2012, CherylNation. All rights reserved.

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Plan B

December 13, 2011

Plan B is an oral contraceptive and its primary function is to prevent ovulation. You may know it as the morning-after pill. Plan B was available to anyone 17 and older over the counter, and 16 and younger by prescription. I was aware of Plan B, but I didn’t know much about it until last [...]

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Copycat

December 12, 2011

I was organizing this morning and watching The Early Show on CBS when the women of The Talk were on for an interview. The Talk is a CBS Daytime talk show that airs weekdays at 2:00 PM, featuring Sara Gilbert, Julie Chen, Aisha Tyler, Sharon Osbourne, and Sheryl Underwood. When this show first debuted I [...]

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